🍿Man City 3-3 Spurs
Plus Liverpool 4-3 Fulham, Chelsea 3-2 Brighton, and more from PL GW14.
Alexa, play the double content klaxon! 🚨
Midweek games in the Premier League means a first for the newsletter: As an advent treat, you’ll get today’s regularly scheduled programming, plus an extra edition of your favourite Substack, this Friday, to review the extra matches.
I’m going to take this opportunity to fiddle with the format. The focus in these two upcoming bulletins will be key talking points on a match-by-match basis, aiming to give an overview of more teams in shallower (and more digestible) depth.
Plenty to crack into then - welcome to Andrew’s Weekly Sports Bulletin, #13.
Manchester City 3-3 Spurs
Manchester City hate playing Spurs. They’ve only won four of their last ten league games against the North London club. 40% is an incredibly low win percentage for manager Pep Guardiola - his average at City is 72%.
The home side were cruising in the first half, too, despite going 1-0 down to a vintage Heung Min Son breakaway finish. An unfortunate, deflected own goal by the Korean and a beautiful, flowing team move put City ahead, and the chances kept coming. Jeremy Doku slammed the bar after a dizzying run and Julian Alvarez struck the base of the post, with Spurs just about holding on.
Spurs manager Ange Postecoglou has been criticised by many, including me, for continuing to play aggressive football even when stricken by injuries. But the Australian’s perhaps stubborn commitment to positivity is ultimately what won Spurs a point (what do I know?).
Pressuring City in possession high up the pitch forced the mistake that created Gio Lo Celso’s equaliser. They went down 3-2 when Yves Bissouma lost the ball on the edge of his own area, but the positive intent was clear. Spurs’ players are clearly in an environment where mistakes are not punished, for which Ange must be credited - we must not forget how his predecessors, Antonio Conte and Jose Mourinho, created toxic dressing rooms that failed to get results. Always looking to attack, Spurs equalised in the 90th minute when Dejan Kulusevski outjumped Nathan Ake to score a header in off the bar.
All that means City have three league draws in a row, conceding eight. They’re third in a competitive league, behind Arsenal and Liverpool, and maybe, just maybe, that means a different team might win this year. Wouldn’t that be good news?
Memorable moment: Haaland’s meltdown
With scores level at 3-3 in additional time, Haaland was scythed down in an thinly veiled attempt to stop City countering for a winner. Referee Simon Hooper played advantage long enough for Haaland to retrieve the ball and pump it in behind the defence. Only once the pass was played, seemingly setting teammate Jack Grealish through onto goal, did Hooper end the advantage and pull play back for the foul. Cue pandemonium, genuine outrage and for Spurs fans, utter relief.
The advantage rule is applied at the referee’s discretion, to allow play to continue if a chance can still be created. Haaland, the angriest, most agitated City player, maybe should have focused more on finishing the missed open goal in the first half, rather than taking to Twitter in a strop. Clearly an error by the referee, but undeniably an entertaining end to the game.
Liverpool 4-3 Fulham
What a game. Fulham have proven this season that they’re a boring, mid-table side. That’s not even an insult – it happens every year to a handful of clubs, and when the alternative is being dragged into a relegation scrap, it’s hardly a bad place to be. They’re not setting the world alight, but given they spent most of the 2010s yo-yoing between the top flight and the Championship, I’d argue most fans would be happy with solidity.
That being said, as a fan it’s hard to travel up to Liverpool, take a 3-2 lead against one of the best teams in the division, and then lose because the opposition scored four screamers, the last two beyond the 85th minute. A thumping Trent Alexander-Arnold free kick, an Alexis Mac Allister rocket, a Wataru Endo curling finish, and a final minute whack from Trent again secured all three points for the home side in front of a roaring Kop, Anfield’s main stand famous for its atmosphere.
Liverpool manager Jurgen Klopp will celebrate snatching victory from jaws of defeat, but a thorough inquest will follow. Defensive solidity went out the window, and while I appreciate it’s odd to call an attack that netted four times disjointed, you clearly can’t rely on four world class finishes every week.
Memorable moment: Silva’s catty press conference
Marco Silva was clearly agitated by his team’s late capitulation, and vented some of his frustration towards Alexis Mac Allister. The Fulham boss in effect labelled the Argentine’s strike lucky, saying in his post-match presser he could try again for two hours and never score the goal again. Me-ow.
Chelsea 3-2 Brighton
Victorious over Brighton for the first time in the league since 2020, Chelsea clung on to grab victory and shook off the Seagulls curse that has plagued them in recent years.
The Blues unnecessarily complicated things, though, and made this game difficult for themselves. They’d gone 2-0 up early doors with finishes from Enzo Fernandez and Levi Colwill, but failed to capitalise on more chances and let Brighton back in through a Facundo Buonanotte finish (great name btw).
Then, captain for the day Conor Gallagher, got himself needlessly sent off. A first booking for a crunching tackle on Billy Gilmour, and then just minutes later, he slid in recklessly. Again. Gallagher is the second Chelsea captain to be sent off in as many weeks, following Reece James’ similar brain fade dismissal against Newcastle.
I’m not totally sure what the narrative is here. Brighton are suffering from injuries and the added workload of European football, playing on Thursday nights in the Europa League for the first time in their history. But, here they are, still competitive. Chelsea won again, but were utterly unconvincing - where have we heard that before?
It’s a copy and paste script for both teams really. Don’t let that undermine the entertainment – I’d much rather both teams kept scoring and conceding at this silly rate. Long may the chaos continue, it might mean United have a chance when they face Chelsea at the weekend.
.Memorable moment: Colwill’s (non) celebration
Levi Colwill wouldn’t have made the Chelsea starting XI had it not been for a loan spell at Brighton last year, where playing more regularly against quality opposition really developed his game.
It’s typical for players (that are likeable) to not celebrate scoring against former clubs – a mark of respect for the people that helped them on their career path. Colwill’s excitement overcame him following his goal, though, leading to the glorious moment when the penny dropped, his delight replaced by fear of retribution and a solemn non-celebration. I found it thoroughly entertaining.
Burnley 5-0 Sheffield United
Only Burnley’s second win of the season, five goals past a hapless Sheffield United spelled the end for Blades manager Paul Heckingbottom. He becomes the first managerial sacking of this season, which doesn’t feel particularly fair.
This United team is awful – they’re simply not good enough for this division. But, a lot of that isn’t necessarily the manager’s fault. A week before the season started, the board decided to sell their two best players (Sander Berge and last year’s top scorer Iliman Ndiaye), and did not give the manager the backing to replace them and improve his squad.
I would have liked to see faith shown in Heckingbottom, and him given the opportunity to attack the Championship again next season following the seemingly inevitable relegation. Not all clubs can stay up, and firing the boss only to replace him with a manager you fired previously does not feel like a coherent strategy for long-term success (bookies’ favourite to replace Heckingbottom is Chris Wilder, whom Heckingbottom himself replaced in 2021).
Props to Burnley and Vincent Kompany though – they only need to be better than three teams to avoid relegation, and if you can pump five past one of your rivals, that bodes well and certainly boosts confidence. For my money, Burnley will still go down, but they’re clearly better situated than Sheffield.
Memorable moment: McBurnie’s moronic dismissal
Oli McBurnie, Sheffield United striker, was booked for elbowing an opponent in the face in the 37th minute. In the 45th minute, he was awarded a second yellow. For elbowing another opponent in the face. You were given a second bite at the cherry, c’mon mate.
Did both Manchester United and Chelsea win this week? 🏆
While the sands of time shift dunes and removes sections from my Substack, one remains. (No doubt this section will too fall by the wayside soon, my proclamation painting me Ozymandias).
🥳 NO 🥳
Chelsea’s win over Brighton came too late - United had already lost to Newcastle on Saturday.
Season tally: Yes 3 – 11 No
Leave a comment saying if you preferred this game by game format to the consistent sections previously – I’ll likely synthesise both formats into one unless I hear otherwise.
Keep your ears peeled for a new podcast episode, the audio version of my recent Victor Wembanyama deep dive – the rookie is ‘redefining greatness’ in the NBA.
Thanks as always for reading, see you Friday!
Keep reading with a 7-day free trial
Subscribe to Andrew's Weekly Sports Bulletin to keep reading this post and get 7 days of free access to the full post archives.