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Angry man demands respect by being disrespectful
Another jam-packed weekend, full of great games and some shocking ones (I’ll never get the two hours back from watching Liverpool vs Luton and I’m not happy about it).
I’m in the grips of what feels like Covid round two, so while it’s a snappier newsletter this week, there’s still plenty to get your teeth into.
Welcome to the sexy rebranded Andrew’s Weekly Sports Bulletin, #10.
Game of the Weekend 🙌
Tottenham 1-4 Chelsea
One of the most entertaining games I can remember in recent years.
There’s so much brilliance to unpack. Tottenham lost for the first time in the league under Ange Postecoglou. But they didn’t just lose, they imploded. Destiny Udogie and Christian Romero both should have seen red for reckless challenges, but both avoided dismissal, and both were subsequently sent off for further transgressions later in the game. Neither capitalised on the golden opportunity of a second chance.
Then, to compound the home side’s misery, Micky Van de Ven and James Maddison, ever presents in the Spurs line up and consistently high performers this year, both went off injured before the interval. These suspensions and injuries mean at least three of the preferred starting eleven could miss the season-defining clash with Manchester City in early December.
With nine on the pitch, Spurs played a bold as brass high line that left an entire half a pitch empty, and they went on to lose.
That only tells half the story, though – Chelsea were absolutely woeful. 4-1 is an unbelievably flattering score line for the team that spent most of the second half standing obviously offside and missing chances. They almost conceded twice as well; an excellent (but ruled out) Eric Dier finish and a missed free header for Rodrigo Bentancur.
Chelsea striker Nicholas Jackson has the third highest expected goals (xG) of any player in the league, but is joint ninth in the scoring charts. Over half his goals came yesterday. This man shushed the home crowd twice in the first half, once for Sterling’s disallowed goal, and then again for Palmer’s almost saved penalty. He missed a golden opportunity, nodding the ball pathetically into the floor just meters out from goal, and only finally scored once Spurs were down to nine. Jackson is poor, but scored a hattrick? Chelsea are abject, but won 4-1?
Two red cards, five goals, four additional disallowed finishes? Absolutely sublime entertainment.
Tactical Trends 📊
Managerial moanings
Following last week’s analysis of player petulance, managers have joined the fray to remind us that they too can be insufferably bitter and dislikeable. Mikel Arteta, who relished the pantomime villain role on touchlines last season, came out with a scathing attack on the officiating team after Saturday’s defeat to Newcastle.
“It is embarrassing, it is a disgrace, that’s what it is, a disgrace”
He’s referring to the three separate VAR checks made in the run up to Newcastle’s goal, the only score of the game. Let’s do a little fact check then, and address the checks the team at Stockley Park went through to see why a goal may have been prevented:
1. The ball went out of play in the build-up. Well, VAR was inconclusive – the technology doesn’t exist in the sport to determine whether a ball is in or out, unless it’s in the goal. No obvious error.
2. Gabriel was fouled when Joelinton shoved him in the back. Maybe, this was a foul, but crucially it’s not black and white. Colour it grey, up for interpretation.
3. Gordon was offside when the ball fell to him. He wasn’t, he was stood behind the last defender. No error.
That’s a strong 0.5 out of 3 to overrule the on field decision of goal. So, maybe sometimes it’s given, sometimes it’s not. Annoying to hear for Arsenal fans, of course, but it’s hardly a conspiracy. Hardly a “disgrace”.
Arteta’s rage also conveniently forgets an earlier, clearer decision that went Arsenal’s way. Kai Havertz, at 0-0, jumped in the air and with studs up clattered into Dan Burn. In my mind, a red card, all day long – but Havertz wasn’t sent off. It’s all swings and roundabouts.
Arteta has been hammered by pundits for his bizarre (and incorrect) overreaction to Saturday’s proceedings. Not least because a mere month ago, the Spaniard commented on the adverse response to VAR’s mistake that chalked off a legitimate Luis Diaz goal against Spurs by saying “They are trying to make the best decisions, we need to give support and understand that mistakes happen.”
Newcastle’s goal wasn’t even a mistake.
I think we’re approaching a referee strike in our top league. The abuse of officials is unsustainable, from managers, players and fans as soon as a single decision goes against them. With little to no support anywhere, it wouldn’t surprise me if drastic measures were taken by officials to put a stop to the nonsense.
Did both Manchester United and Chelsea win this week? 🏆
😎 YES 😎
A last gasp win at Fulham means both clubs are now in the top half of the table (!!)
Season tally: Yes 3 - 8 No.
Player of the Week 🎖
Jeremy Doku
I was reticent to pick the Belgian winger as player of the week for a second time, but it’s really hard to ignore someone that scores or assists five goals in one game.
Watching Doku felt like seeing a band play their entire back catalogue of greatest hits. They know exactly how good they are, they’re just performing off muscle memory. It’s following tried and tested patterns, and so they can just go out there and vibe, hard.
The two assists for Bernado Silva’s brace caught my eye. Having cut in and played a slick one-two off the left wing for the opener, Doku switched wings and turned Chris Mepham inside out before playing Bernardo in for his first. That’s the Doku we were promised – direct, quick, unmarkable.
For Bernardo’s second (Doku’s fourth assist), he showed power to hold off Max Aarons on the turn in his own half, and launched a glorious cross-pitch ball into space for the Portuguese to run on to. It was a stretched Bournemouth at that point, and there’s the usual caveat that City are nearly unstoppable anyway, but mix world class passing with the already known dribbling and shooting, and you’ve got one hell of a player on your hands.
Stat Attack 👩💻
That’s all for this week, thanks as always for reading and getting involved in my Substack.
Loads of you keep coming back week after week, so hopefully you’re enjoying what you’re learning! If you have any tips or requests on what you want to read, do let me know and I can incorporate them into next week’s bulletin.
Exciting news! The first episode of my podcast is out:
This in time will become a panel discussion about football. Drop a comment with your favourite footballing hot take for the chance to be a guest!
Stay safe, see you soon!
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