🫠 Man Utd 0-3 Bournemouth
Plus Villa vs Arsenal, Spurs vs Newcastle and all the weekend's fixtures.
Hey everyone, great to have you back. I’ve had Covid (very trendy, very cool, totally not three years behind the party) and today’s the first day since Friday I’ve been outside. Expect not your usual “in-depth” analysis, but instead a limited update on the weekend’s happenings.
In my horizontal state I managed to exist in the environs of four matches (‘watch’ is too active a verb for what I was doing), and so here are my very narrow and disjointed thoughts on those particular games. Oh no – does that mean we don’t get to talk about Manchester United losing 3-0 at home to Bournemouth?! Despite the title?!??!? Shame. (There’d be nothing to add anyway, it’s same old same old, isn’t it?)
So buckle up for the bumpiest of rides, welcome to Andrew’s Weekly Sports Bulletin, #15.
Crystal Palace 1-2 Liverpool
Liverpool were saved in this game by goalkeeper Alisson and a supposedly contentious refereeing decision. Palace went 1-0 up through a second half penalty from Jean-Philippe Mateta, and despite the absence of talismen Michael Olise and Ebere Eze, they looked much the better team in this contest.
The Eagles had successfully nullified Liverpool’s free-flowing attack, Will Hughes in particular showing more fight and desire than the opposition. Yes, Jurgen Klopp famously hates the early kick off, and perhaps justifiably because Liverpool did look half asleep - I know I was.
But, Palace failed to come out victorious because of Jordan Ayew’s red card. The forward was booked initially for deliberately standing over a free kick, and then not long after received a second caution for a rather inconsequential foul on Harvey Elliot.
I’ve seen plenty of pundits (armchair and professional) baffled by this decision – TNT Sports commentator Darren Fletcher agog and lamenting ‘soft’ fouls – but for me it was not a refereeing mistake. The anti-red card argument goes that yes, it was a foul, but no, not a second yellow; that Ayew’s intervention was not cynical enough to result in a dismissal.
Certainly, it changed the complexion of the game – Palace were down to 10 and put on the back foot for the remaining minutes. But this fails to recognise that Ayew knew he was on a tightrope, having been booked just minutes before. If you’re in a tight game and want to see out the win, why force the official to make a decision in the first place? It was easy to not make the foul, so don’t. And if you do, admit the error and suffer the consequences - unlike his manager who ranted nonsensically against Virgil Van Dijk.
Liverpool equalised immediately after Ayew’s exit, through a deflected Salah strike (his 150th in the league, putting him in the top 10 of all-time scorers), before a well taken Harvey Elliot attempt won it late for the away team. Palace fans are welcome to feel aggrieved by the loss, I just don’t subscribe to the narrative that it was the referee that lost them the tie – that responsibility lies solely with Jordan Ayew.
Aston Villa 1-0 Arsenal
The mighty Villa march on. 15 straight home wins in the league, their best record since the early 1900s (football really has been going on for a LONG time), and a clean sheet kept against a dangerous Arsenal outfit. Rightly, the footballing world is aiming its focus on Villa Park and the stunning work Unai Emery is doing – it’s been a strong theme of my recent newsletters – and now it’s time for the limelight to fall on their captain John McGinn.
Consensus seems that Emery has developed a once solid top flight midfielder into a marauding, match-winning conquistador – exemplifying the key pillars of passion, intensity and game intelligence every football fan craves from their idol. McGinn’s goal was decisive - a well taken down cross, a great spin to nullify Ben White’s defensive threat and an emphatic finish past David Raya.
Emery, no doubt, will take particular pleasure in beating his former employers Arsenal. He was ridiculed in his tenure there, despite leading a subpar squad to a European final and a fifth-placed league finish, and will relish the present unwavering support from Villa fans. The team have said they’re not thinking about a title charge – sensible considering it’s not even Christmas – but they’ve beaten arguably the best two teams in the league within days of each other. Who can stop them apart from themeselves?
Luton 1-2 Manchester City
There was a glorious moment where my brain, admittedly rattled by Covid, thought ‘wow, Luton might just do them here’.
On the stroke of half time, a glorious turn by ‘streets will never forget’ midfielder Ross Barkley, playing through ‘streets will never forget’ forward Andros Townsend, who delivered a pinpoint cross onto ‘streets have never heard of’ Elijah Adebayo to head home. Luton in front at the half - just hold on for 45 minutes!
This fantastical, whimsical narrative completely neglects the fact, though, that Luton were totally outplayed in this game. That’s not a criticism either, really, as City outplay most teams every week. I’ve watched them outplay United consistently for a decade. But when they turned the screw, able to turn to the wealth of talent on their bench, it was inevitable that they went on to secure their first win in five.
A moment to reiterate that City’s £1 billion plus squad beat a Luton outfit worth less than a tenth of that by just the one goal. That follows the pattern we discussed last time round of how Luton are able to put pressure on big clubs, but cannot come away with any points. With Everton’s win over Chelsea (very funny), it leaves Luton ever further adrift of safety. Having literally not four days ago said they’d be fine, I’m now not so sure. Fickle, fickle business I suppose.
Editor’s Note: That ‘streets will ...’ triptych is incredibly unkind to Mr. Adebayo, a professional footballer of considerable talent, for which I apologise profusely.
Spurs 4-1 Newcastle
Apart from an enforced alteration in goal, Eddie Howe has named an unchanged starting eleven for Newcastle’s last five games in all competitions, a period spanning an entire month. In the same time frame, a similarly injury ravaged Spurs team have made five changes. Liverpool, by comparison, have made 23.
To say that these Newcastle players are tired is an understatement. They’re exhausted, and were run off the park in North London on Sunday night. But, even with their roster of unavailable players, Newcastle had first team quality on the bench – Callum Wilson, Sean Longstaff, loanee Lewis Hall, they’ve all made important contributions already this year, but remained sidelined until it was too late.
To come up against a Spurs team that, often for their sins, relentlessly attack, and to make zero adjustments to compensate for that, I think is tactically naïve. Easy to say with hindsight, of course, and Eddie Howe knows a thing or two more than I do about managing any level of football club, but it’s still a valid point.
Son and Kulusevski in particular were excellent for Spurs, and two goals for out-of-form striker Richarlison means he finally has as many goals for the club as he does yellow cards (four each! in forty appearances!!) An important win for Postecoglou, who will try and recapture that early season form now that he’s seen off a strong, European-vying competitor.
Did both Manchester United and Chelsea win this week? 🏆
🥳 NO 🥳
They both lost! Great! United went down 3-0 AT HOME to Bournemouth (yes, that Bournemouth), while Chelsea lost 2-0 at Goodison Park. It’s looking pretty certain that ‘No’ will come out the winner come end of the season.
Season tally: Yes 3 – 12 No
You’ve made it to the end! Thanks for reading! Here are two prompts to try inspire some comments:
What’s the most interesting thing you’ve learnt from this newsletter, and what’s the first thing to come to mind when you think of Manchester United?
From my perspective, this has been a dumpster fire of a newsletter - my head hurts and I’m really tired. Fingers crossed you disagree and found it worthwhile. I’m going to go have a nap now. See you next time!
FPL Corner
*Deep breath in* ...
I told you so I told you so I told you so I told so I told you so I told you so I told you so.
Newcastle are tired, they’ll ship in goals. Hey Siri, copy and paste this message until everyone takes Dubravka out their team. 7 conceded in two games, awful business.
Main question mark going into next week is of course Big Erling’s injury. Keep a close eye on Champions League to see what’s going on, if he’s out for the weekend, with the Club World Cup coming up, that could mean there’s FINALLY some excitement in things like choices and captaincy.
Trippier’s suspension is a bummer too – I don’t think I have 10 outfield players that play for next week, or a goalkeeper with Areola injured. What am I going to do? Not a Scooby. Wait until European games are finished and decide who is most injured, I guess.
In terms of tips and tricks:
Hot take: Get Gordon out, now
The sun has set, Newcastle are trash and Gordon has been overperforming for too long. Especially if Haaland’s injured, it’s an easy chance to have a basically unlimited budget to spend on an extra midfielder (even if you drop Haaland down to Watkins, you’d be able to afford a Gordon to KDB move).
Avoid the bandwagon: Fulham attacking options
They’ve scored 10 in two, to everyone’s surprise including probably the Fulham players themselves. I don’t know how wise it is to focus efforts on them considering the fires that need putting out across FPL, but I guess I’m happy to be proven wrong – my gut is just that Raul Jimenez can’t go three years (understandably) without scoring to then become a league leading striking option within a week.
Overall rank: 1.17m 📈
Current mini-league position: 2nd 🥈
Manchester United reminds me of years of my life, wasted.